I wonder how it is that I, like so many human beings, tend to want to make things look better: rewind memory as with a tape, tint it a brighter shade, cut things, edit, delete. Store in a safe place away from harsh scrutiny.

I wonder why I want to convince myself that some things were actually better than I felt.

After a while the images merge, they clash, they contradict each other and I no longer know what the true version was, any more.

Did I tint it with a better perception after it was gone... or did I see everything through dark eyeglasses when it happened, so that what I wished it to be later was the true version after all?

How will I ever know?

I suppose it doesn't matter now.