My feelings toward the upcoming "A" level exams can basically be summed up by the chorus of REM's "End of the World":

It's the end of the world as we know it!
It's the end of the world as we know it!
It's the end of the world as we know it!
And I feel fine...

The only things I can ever get worked up and passionate and very, very perfectionistic about are things that really matter to me... and there are very few of them. (Though I feel very guilty about all the money my mom shells out for my education.) Granted, I like Math, and if you get me really drunk I might even say I like Econs... but Literature beats them all hands down.

(Speaking of Literature... the Lit dept in Hwa Chong has got to be the most laid back ever. This is by no means a criticism, because they have my full unadulterated approval. Ms Heng, who is by far the most disciplined one of them all, recently returned my Lit S prelim script marked entirely in pencil. The Lit dept has got the most life in them.)

And then there are my Lit S exams... which I don't have high expectations for. My sister was the star of her Creative Arts Program, she takes Literature in University and is among the best of her cohort, getting on the Dean's List three times... and she got an Ungraded for Lit S while she was in JC. Erika, my senior, was described fervently by Ms Lim as "amazing... she could eat, breathe, sleep and dream Lit" and yet she only got a Merit. I don't know about Ailin and Min, but Mi'er, Sijia and I discussed this once, and we all agreed that we didn't expect a Distinction in the slightest way. Then I said, "Don't you all think it's kind of sad? That we don't even expect that much from ourselves?" and Mi'er pointed out, very rightly (I've always remembered this...) that "I think it would be sadder if we did it for the sake of the Distinction."

Therefore Lit is the one and only thing that I study for the sake of enjoyment and not for the grade... which is a rare thing, nowadays. I fought so hard to take S Lit, and now that our class discussions are over, I've had all the fun I wanted. I even sort of enjoy writing the Lit S script itself; I like it all the better because I don't have to care whether I will score or not. If the examiners don't like what I say, they can kiss my fanny.

Alright... got to go feed the cat. Incidentally what I'm going to feed him is my lunch, because he has learned how to beg (reaching up to tap-tap my elbow while I'm eating)... in addition to opening cupboard doors and sleeping in the oven (by crawling through the ventilator).